32 Lessons from 32 Years of Living*
*Subject to change
Two years ago when I turned 30 I spent half the day writing down life and business lessons that I could pass on to my kids someday. Some of these lessons I live by, and some of them I relearn often.
I've now spent time updating the lessons and adding additional lessons as I’ve turned 32.
I share these lessons with you now in case they may be of value. Maybe they won't. Either way, they're a good reminder for me, and hopefully one day my kids can learn from them and upgrade them as the world evolves and transforms.
See below to read my 32 lessons from 32 years of living. My two LAST two lessons are more geared toward what NOT to do.
My two new bonus lessons at the end!
1. Validate the source and context of information before accepting and acting on it. Specifically seek out knowledge from those who have collected it through experience. Don't rely on social media or awards as an indication of life or business success, they are often the furthest from the truth. Think independently. Be hyperaware of who you choose to take advice from and who you model yourself, your life, and your business after. Look holistically ahead of what you want to get out of life and surround yourself with those who are already doing it.
For example, when I was an investment banker, my leadership team all looked like kings of the world. But when I got to know them, I found they were divorced, their families were falling apart, they were living hand to mouth, they had few quality relationships, they were very stressed out, had little control of their time, and overweight. I observed the same outcome from many top real estate agents and team leaders. Look ahead to see what is likely to be. Pay attention.
As a side note, be wary of the loudest folks seeking constant attention, as I have found them generally to be the most insecure and opinion based. Look to avoid this noise where possible.
2. Strive to live on 10-15% of your gross income (after your mortgage/rent payment); it is both fiscally responsible and likely to make you happier. Accumulating more things is not going to make you more fulfilled. Building quality relationships, achieving a healthy lifestyle, maintaining peace of mind, and making a positive impact will make you more fulfilled. Living frugally now and investing the rest gives you more options in the future. You will be less susceptible to negative external factors. Planning ahead will build a foundation so you won't have to work for money later in life if you don't want to.
3. The faster you leverage out of things you're bad at and instead spend time on things you're good at, the more income you'll make. The market rewards specialists exponentially in all categories. Become the best at one thing and stick with it. Disruption in your income is likely to occur when you go through too many career or company jumps.
The education system wants us to strengthen areas we are weak at, but the open market wants us to use our strengths and become specialists. Becoming “well rounded” could be, in many circumstances, a huge waste of time with little return. Pay attention to things you naturally do, or would do for free, and see if there’s a problem you can solve using your unique mix of strengths.
4. The most important decisions in life are where you live, who you spend time with, who you read/accept information from, and what you spend your time doing. Spend a good amount of time figuring these out and keep them front of mind. Your quality of life is based on the quality of people around you and that depends primarily on where you live and your immediate social network. Meanwhile, never stop traveling and exploring; it will open your mind to what is possible and expose you to the way other people live and what they value.
5. If you treat people poorly, you'll be treated poorly. If you treat people well, view it as a gift and expect nothing in return; you'll be much happier living life with low expectations of receiving. Karma is real.
6. Children cause your priorities to change. For me, prior to children, my values were: business, business, business. After having children, my priorities changed to health, relationships, lifestyle, legacy... business. I am much happier now and a more impactful human to my family and community. Having children also forced me to become better at leveraging responsibilities to others because my time become exponentially more demanded by higher priorities.
7. Realize that very few people actually care about you. When you die there may be a post on social media about your life, and then you’ll disappear. You no longer exist. Mostly everyone moves on quickly outside the immediate family. That's life. There are billions of people who lived before you and likely billions who will live after you. There is freedom in acknowledging how little people care about you and how little them caring about you actually matters. It’s actually the opposite: it’s about what you can do for others while you are here. For those who show deep care, keep them close, and feed the relationship, even when there's physical distance. Know the difference between surface vs. genuine relationships and focus on the latter.
8. In hiring, one thing is for certain: humans act in their own self interest. That's why it's so important to have alignment in your values and vision. You go out of business with someone when your values and/or vision do not align. Best to do that legwork upfront and hire slow versus probable painful exit consequences on the back end.
9. Don't be a person who changes colors and temperatures based on the room you're temporarily in. Be a person who when you walk through the door to a room, you make the entire room better and happier. If this is not the case, it may be time to change something in yourself. The closer you can live to your authentic self in all situations, the happier you'll be. Likewise, choices are hard when they conflict with your values. Choices are easy when they align with your values. First, you must know what your values are and live by them in every room. Live transparently and authentically.
10. Avoid news and complainers at all costs. There is always a negative story to hear and it's best not to participate. When you do, you'll be dragged into non-productive conversations that pull you away from your life’s mission. Be hyperaware. Their agency is to enlist you into whatever they're trying to sell. Instead, choose what information is valuable to you and focus on spending time with positive people. Even if they're wrong, you'll be happy. Be active in deciding what is fed into your brain just as you are active in deciding what food you put into your body.
11. Competition is healthy, comparison is not. If others are doing great, congratulate them, learn from them, and get back to it. Maybe even have them mentor you. Give respect to yourself and others. Keep sharpening your axe along the way.
12. If you don't sleep well, nothing else tends to go well either. There are many factors that impact sleep. Find a way to get the best of it daily. This may require some research and tracking, that's ok - there's nothing more important than your health. Sleep issues may also stem from your nutritional input. Pay attention to what makes you feel certain ways and how it impacts your sleep. 80% of how you feel is based on what fuel you choose to put in your body.
13. Believe something bigger is at play. If that's God, your spirituality, or even the awareness of death or a self belief that you are meant to do something bigger with your life. Whatever it is, look to be a person of virtue and be a person who lives by core values and not by opinions.
14. Have something to look forward to. For me, that's travel, learning, and the future prospects of my family. Write what you look forward to and enjoy the energy it gives you. You often become stagnant internally when you don’t have clarity of the future.
15. Play long-term games with long-term people. All great results in life come from compounding returns over time. Short-term people who play short-term games and win, eventually have it all catch up with them. This is true with investing, too. Stay away from folks who operate from the short-term ego-driven lifestyle. Trust their actions, not their words. Doing so will reduce volatility in your relationships and lead to a more fulfilling and peaceful life.
16. Share what you learn. Sharing is a healthy way to process your information while adding value to others. Teaching is the best way to master what you know. Learn, write, and then teach. Also, figure out the best way that you learn. Is it through listening, reading, or kinesthetically? Everyone is different, figure out what works for you.
17. Be willing to change your mind when new valid information is presented. You don't know everything. Knowing the limits of what you know and don't know can be wildly helpful to you. Be curious and always questioning.
18. An investment in your personal growth produces returns for life, but if you don’t have good health, these investments won’t amount to much. You will be happiest when you are learning, growing, and giving. But you won't be happy and productive if you are unhealthy. Invest in your body first (hardware) in addition to investing in your thoughts (software).
19. Give gratitude daily. Your energy is contagious and gratitude is the highest form of positive energy. You attract what you are.
20. Set realistic expectations with others to reduce the possibility of negative outcomes. Most arguments stem from a lack of respect that originated from expectations that were never shared in the first place or reinforced. Go back to the start and re-set expectations.
21. The most important choice in life above all else is who you choose as your spouse/significant other. This is due to the influencer effect - you become who you surround yourself with. If you rush relationships, there is a greater chance of them going wrong - just like with hiring. It is best to go slow and think long-term.
22. You can be brilliant and broke at the same time when you're working for others. Being an employee generally guarantees a natural cap of what you can earn and/or you must learn to play politics to rise in most corporate settings - which conflicts with living life transparently. As my prior mentor used to say, "you're either the owner or you're owned." Knowing how to build for yourself is the ultimate job security and freedom.
23. Seek out valid mentors and add value to them. A great mentor will help you rise to their level of thinking within months of them investing their time in you. After you succeed, always answer their calls and give to others the way he/she gave to you. Likewise, if there's no one left to learn from, it's often time to move on. The quality of your mentors will influence the quality of your thinking.
24. There are always other options available. You can go backward if needed. Then down a different, better path, with more knowledge. Keep moving when you see a dead end. Don't cul-de-sac out and sit still — you may get run-over. I see this with many folks who get comfortable in a job or career that is clearly going nowhere, and the comfort (which is the enemy) chains them to living a mediocre life.
25. Say no to things that don't serve you. Block out on your calendar the most important things in your life, in order of priority. Don't get drawn into the shiny objects or events that are for the sole purpose of making your ego feel good.
26. When you partner with someone, they should be paid for their performance, not your performance. Otherwise, you'll be leached and you will experience the pain of pulling it off. There is also a difference between a passionate partner and an emotional partner. Know the difference. Business requires emotional stability. Having the right partner will determine your level of success, so choose wisely. A note here is to always have an operating agreement written upfront before going into any endeavor that spells out exactly how you break-up and with downside protections for all parties (Refer to Lesson 20 on Setting Expectations). You never know how someone will act upon exit, even if they’ve been honorable during your business relationship.
27. It's rare you'll have massive success on your own. Enlist value-based folks in your vision. You hit your goals by helping other people who are in alignment with your vision and values hit their goals. It’s better to take a small slice of a big pie, than a big slice of a small pie.
28. You know you're on the right path when others seek you out for your knowledge; it doesn't matter how you give it to them. Find a way to leverage your specific knowledge to help others in a way you enjoy. One-on-one is not always the best platform. Look to scale who you can help to make a bigger positive impact.
29. Find a gap and fill it. Opportunity is everywhere. Value is created by solving problems (the gap) and incremental innovation. Look to leave whatever you pursue better than how you found it. Remember, the market is never to blame for an inability to provide value to it. Look internally and adjust quickly.
30. Spend time alone to reflect and also have hobbies that you enjoy. Be purposeful with your free time and make the most of it. Life is so short.
31. Don’t lose money. I’ve made a lot of money and certainly lost a lot of money too, usually in the form of risky bets that I used for entertainment instead of investment. Money is sacred oxygen in the world we currently live in. Treat it as such and take care of it. It solves 98% of problem. It is NOT evil. It depends on how you use it. Imagine money as your personal army that goes out daily to grow and conquer. If you don’t give your troops the protection they deserve while they’re out conquering, they could all get killed. Just like in business - have a plan, execute, adjust using data. If you give money to others to manage on your behalf (and control your army), then you must hold them accountable to their plan, execution, and adjusting to data. You do this through legal contracts to ensure you don’t experience theft or gross negligence.
32. Don’t sit in your shit. If you are unhappy or not getting the result you seek, change it - or yourself - fast. The longer you are comfortable being in a bad situation, the worse it will be for you long-term. Don’t tolerate bad outcomes. Use the discomfort to make changes and address them. Your enemy is complacency and not caring. Everything matters. No matter how small it is. How you do small things is how you do everything.
About Jon
I am the founder of several real estate ventures and with my wife Brittany, increased our net worth from negative $80,000 in 2016 to more than $8M (half investable assets /half in company value) by 2023. Today, I am 32 years old chronologically (years around the sun), and 27 years old biologically (according to Inside Tracker’s and Tally Health biomarkers). I have been with my wife Brittany Brooks for 13 years, 6 of which we have been married. Together we have two young and healthy children and are having another boy in May. I love being a dad. I have a wonderful lifestyle where I spend 80% of the day doing whatever I want to do and the rest of the 20% doing work I’m passionate about because it has a large impact on folks financially and personally. I no longer do things I don’t what to do or things that would put my health at risk. I currently serve about 170 people in my organization through that 20% of my time via building leveraged systems, information sharing, and investment opportunities. I expect we will have 250+ people in our organizations by 2025 based on our current trajectory and look forward to serving more people.
